Well not quite. Many, many joyful miles later, we’re good mates, and he’s got a licence and a bike. But it was my newfound love of bikes back then that put a handful of grit down the cylinders of that relationship.

So, can a biker and a non-biker ever really find true love together? I think the answer is probably no when you consider issues like the addictive nature of bikes, definitions of freedom, and whether s/he is worth sacrificing good riding time over. But I would concede that these things are no insurmountable

So before you go racing off hand in hand with someone who doesn’t own a pair of Rossis, have a think about things like: will s/he understand that sometimes bits of bike HAVE to live on the dining room table, the smell of leather and leather treatments really IS sexy, sometimes food is less important than good engine oil, and that your mates who do ride are always going to understand you better.

But we keep a spare helmet, and a cowling over the pillion seat. We go to rallies and bike shops and check out the talent as well as the machinery. We watch bikes go past and look for appropriate leather-clad bumps. While the numbers might be against us, we live in hope.

Perhaps the best we can realistically hope for is a sympathetic mate. There are few enough bikers, and even fewer female ones. Factor in variables like singleness, appropriate sexual orientation and that elusive “it” quality that makes our tacos zing and you might as well resign yourself to spending lots of time polishing the Termignonis.

Depressing? Nah! Motorcyclists are made, not born. It’s up to us to boost the population. Use the sex appeal that comes from riding a high-powered precision piece of engineering. (If that doesn’t work, the leather thing usually does.) And don’t, repeat DON’T, try to impress a pillion with your wheelie prowess on the first ride, it’s a sure-fire passion-killer!

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