Why do you blokes all insist your vehicles are female, when they all, quite obviously, display very masculine, dare I say, blokey, characteristics?

I had this argument the other day about a Hilux 4WD diesel ute. A great big thing that's designed to pull heavy loads. It's a workhorse, its suspension is pumped up to carry a payload and it has a minimum of creature comforts.

Sounds like a bloke to me. But its owner insists it's a girl.

If a 4WD diesel Hilux is a girl, I argued, it must have hairy armpits.

It's got to be your stereotypical diesel dyke. And so it is. Affectionately known as Butch.

But I fail to understand frighteningly fast CBR900RR Fireblades which are most definitely girls.

The much-maligned (well, by me anyway) Harley Davidson, which has got to be a bloke in the full throes of a mid-life crisis, but determinedly female.

Even that esteemed marque Triumph, maker of chivalrous and valiant gentlemen (in my opinion) since early last century - all girls.

Of course the answer's fairly obvious when it's a straight bloke talking - fears about latent homosexuality.

No red-blooded bloke is going to admit to riding another bloke, especially if what's being ridden is big and powerful and throbs.

Any my bikes?

First there was Robert, a very tired 1980 CB250.  I forget why he was called Robert, but he was patient and faithful and refused to do anything he didn't approve of. Like going faster than 100km/h.

Then there was a very short stint on a DT175 known as the mechanical camel.
It was long-legged, flatulent and grumpy, and almost got me killed. Trying to slow down very quickly, I stripped the counter spline and watched my tacho do a double circuit. Miraculously the engine survived. I fixed it with Loctite and sold it.

Then there was my husband, a 1981 GS 1000G.  Slightly battered, big, solid, not terribly exciting, but oh-so-reliable. It never let me down and we did nearly 100,000km all over Australia together.

And now I have the toy boy, a 1984 FJ1100. He's in damn good shape, fast, sounds good and he's only 16!