"Did you ride that great big bike all by yourself?" said the businessman in amazement.

"Are you sure you can handle that bike, it's pretty heavy?" said the part time salesman at the dealership.

"Are you sure that's the oil you want?" said another salesman at another dealership.

"What happens when it rains?" said a colleague of my father's.

Considering I'm 5'8", fit, muscular, intelligent and I've been riding for eight years with only minor mishaps, these are very, very stupid questions.  And I keep hearing them.

We've had women's liberation, we're heavily ensconced into equal opportunity and gender-sensitive and politically correct thinking, and still people are amazed that I choose to ride a big bike.  I'd love to know what the problem is.

It's not like I look frail and stupid, or ask stupid questions, or even flirt with salesmen (shudder), but the female/motorcycle combination always results in incredulity and asinine comments.

I think the best one ever was a car salesman who watched me arrive on my bike to pick a car for review and felt compelled to say: "We didn't have an automatic, do you know how to drive a manual?"  I admit I almost let my testosterone get the better of me - I really, REALLY wanted to punch him.  

So here are some answers for all the wankers out there who deserve a slap in the face.

Well, actually, I get my mum to help me.

I guess you're proof that natural selection doesn't favour the smartest.

Don't piss me off any more, I could be your karma (except mostly you have to explain what karma is)

And the one I usually resort to because there's no mistaking the meaning or the degree of pissed-offed-ness: that is a stupid fucking question, shut the fuck up and go away/give me what I want!

If you've got a good put down, email me, and I'll publish a list of the best.