Bracing myself for the onslaught of vitriol, I haven't been disappointed.  Although there have been moments of bewilderment.  The main one of which was an invitation from a dude (and I use the word advisedly) in Arizona who wanted me to come to his Harley rally.  Some of the following responses may well be appropriate for him.

So here goes. 

I am indebted to Philthy Phil who is a former caring, understanding nineties type - uncertain of what he is this decade.  I suspect he pinched these from somewhere else, but they're good anyway.

Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
I hate everybody, and you're next.
And your point is...?
I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later.
Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?.
Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win. (I think this is my favourite)
You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
All stressed out and no one to choke.
You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing!
Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
I'm trying to imaging you with a personality.
How many times do I have to flush before you go away

Henry Barber lamented that his wife had given in and now refuses to go to bike shops due to the crap I mentioned in my article.

He suggested:
You're depriving some village of its idiot, and
Is having a penis a prerequisite for knowing anything about bikes ? (I love this!)

He also suggested turning to situation on its head and saying that I'd fitted the FJ with an auto' box and ummmm, I dunno, a make-up mirror.  Think I'll try that one too

David Figueira thinks like I do:
Is that your head, or did someone crap on your shoulders?
Did you think that up all by yourself?
Dumb just got a new threshold.
In-breeding has such dire consequences.
What's it like having a dad for a brother?

Neal Williams really thought about this:
Now it's OK now for women to ride bikes. Since helmets were invented, mens' thick heads are no real advantage.  I'd have to use this carefully, since there a lot of men I really like.

Mike Chmiel, who says he's six foot something and built reckons he gets lots of the same asinine questions and comments.  Rather than lose his cool, he works on the confound-them-and-they'll-leave-you-alone and advocates the beautifully abstruse: Have a real day.  I think I'll try this one too.

N Milne wasted no breath:
So were you born as a complete wanker, or did you have to work on it?

And, not terribly surprisingly, and I think this is borne of experience, just
about everyone who got back to me suggested I just snot the idiot in question.

I do wonder why no women answered? (unless N Milne is female, in which case, I apologise)

Late Braking News